Friday, January 24, 2014

Are you a "fair weather" friend?

What kind of friend are you? Are you a friend that's always there for someone? Or are
you one of those friends of convenience?

Over the course of the last few weeks a lot of things have rolled through my mind. Being in a place of quiet is sometimes good for the soul, other times not so much. Your mind can wonder and wonder to places it should really stay the heck away from. You look internally and what you see about yourself you discover you like a lot. When the outside world sticks it's ugly head in you look outwardly and realize some of those you thought were friends you discover quickly aren't true friends, they're more fair weather friends.

Fair weather: skies of blue and calm air. They pop in, stay a while, have a cup of coffee and bring you up on their lives.
Cloud skies: The visits start to dwindle, the phone calls come less and less.
Stormy weather: There are no phone calls, no visits. You've become a fair weather friend. When things get a little on the tough side you abandon those that need you. Just a gentle smile an occasional hug, words of encouragement can go a very long way.
It amazes me how many people become fair weather friends. Taking time out of your lives to be a friend all the time isn't a hard thing to do. You make time for what's important. So take the time today become a true friend, one someone can count on, be there in fair weather times and stormy weather times. It only takes a minute for you to make a life time of happiness for those you're around.
Sunsets come and go, are you one of those "fair s weather" friends that's come and gone? Try to change your thought process today and become a friend no matter what the weather.
Fondly, Lynne


Alycia Nichols said...

I'd like to think I'm not a fair weather friend. When I love someone, I love them for better or for worse. I do try to give people their space, though, when they're going through a bad time. I may drop a note or give a phone call that is non-committal to them staying on the phone for a long conversation if they don't feel like it, but I like to afford them breathing room. I know I like it, so I assume others feel the same. There are some friends who I know DON'T operate that way and want me to stay in regular touch for long chats, etc. I accommodate them with a hug and a smile, even when it makes me uncomfortable (perhaps because of the subject matter).

I always think there's room for improvement where friendships are concerned. I would like to be a better friend in 2014 and beyond.

I hope all is going well with you there. I wanted to come visit your shop last year, but then things you know.

I really like the photos you used for this post. Very dramatic, and they drive the point straight home!!! Have a great weekend!

Bonnie said...

Lynne, your images are beautiful. I truly hope I am a loyal friend.
Lynne, How is the weather where you are? Seems like everyone is experiencing very cold temps.
I suspect you are a friend no matter what the weather!
I love the pic of the beautiful cardinal on your sidebar. It is lovely.

Bonnie said...

I just read your earlier post. I was out of town for several weeks during Christmas and haven't finished reading all the back posts. I am so sorry your husband has additional problems. You are a wonderful wife. Please know you are in my prayers.

Marty@A Stroll Thru Life said...

Such a perfect post and a gentle reminder. Hope you day is super. Hugs, Marty

Pinky at Designs by Pinky said...

I HOPE I am a loyal friend, I do try to be. I have a LARGE circle of friends and as we get older it seems to get harder to get together, but we call and MAKE time if we have to. Wonderful post, Lynn. XO

Pat said...

When we lost our youngest son to a car accident. . .we went through much of the same thing you're writing about.
It wasn't that we had changed so much. . .it was our friends felt so~o~o uncomfortable in our presence.
A few close, loyal friends ( mostly in the Nursing field) stuck like glue to us!
I do believe their training helped them to know how to deal with our loss.
When we made the decision to move to this side of the was even MORE difficult on those we left behind.
I have now re~connected with many of them via FaceBook.
We didn't move AWAY from anthing. . .we move TOWARDS a more conveient retired life and to be closer to our son.
Here on this side of the Prairie, we have once again, found JOY in our lives!!!
Hold on to those loyal friends, try to have patience with those whom seem to drift as the clouds in your photos. . .
and may you again, experience JOY in your life!!!
Sending a HUGE cyber~hug, dearest friend!!!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Sometimes..when things go so badly, whether through death, illness, financial or through some other crisis in ones life, I found that people sometimes do exactly as you mention..they back away. I was heartbroken when our two dearest friends left after Patrick's death and funeral.. They stayed for about two weeks and then drove off in their motor home after telling me that it was time I "learned to be alone".Looking back they werenot the only ones that could not cope with my grief. They simply felt helpless to do anything..and these were not "online' friends but people in my every day (years and years) life. This included my children. They simply did not know what to do to help me.
YOu are right, Lynne. Just a phone call from my friends with "We love you and wish we could do something..just know we are here." Nothing more. They didn't. I think they are sorry later... Sometimes we simply don't know what to do so we back off and do nothing.
I love my blog friends dearly. They are good folks, however they are NOT in my everyday life, not people I have met face to face. I don't really KNOW them..nor do they know me. It's complicated.
I know you have a lot on your plate. Many of us do. Sometimes it is all we can do in our private lives to put one foot in front of the other. I don't think I am a fair weather friend...nor are my friends. They just do the best they can to put one foot in front of the other on a daily basis.
YOu sound "let down" and that's a difficult place to be. I have been there. Whatever the case, please know that in time I hope things get better for you, and they will, for me, for all of us.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Dear Lynne! I wanted to come over to your blog and tell you again how sorry I am to hear of your husband's passing. I pray your true friends in real life are rallying around you at this moment. I know we really don't 'know' each other as Mona said above, but Lynne, I know your heart and your are a beautiful person. I'm sending my love and of course my prayers to you. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this and I wish there were words to say that would help you feel better, help your heart heal. But I don't know what they'd be. But know you really are in my thoughts and prayers and I know God will be by your side each moment.
Love you, Shelia

Bonnie said...

Lynne, I was thinking of you and came by to tell you. Just read Shelia's note. I did not know about your husband passing. Please know I will be thinking of you. May God be your comfort and strength.

Cynthia Christensen said...

Dear Lynn, soooo sorry to hear about your husband passing. What can any of us say that will be adequate to fill your sadness. Loss is a very difficult emotion. It is not only the loss of a loved one but, the loss of yourself that you grieve. You became bonded to your husband, he to you, that is a whole part of your own life that is just gone. Of course you would feel disoriented. The question begs, who are you now? How can you be different without him? What do you do with all that you expressed with him, because of him, for him and where do you go with all those intricate interwoven and varied needs and wants? In someways, it's like being a conjoined twin who shared the same blood flowing through their veins as you. Your loss is not just from him but yourself. Literally, part of you passed. Now, while you, no doubt, are pleased that he is free, you are not. You were left behind and live with all the memories. Surely, some of the memories were warm and wonderful. Some were difficult because of his illness and all the troubles the illness incurred. Now, suddenly you must reset. How does one do that? The old adage comes to mind, TIME. It will take time, lots of time to reconstruct your life. To let go of the person you were and to find out who you are now and will be in the future. You are in between now. But, tomorrow is a new day, and The Lord will now be your husband and best friend. He will define you and mold you. In the mean time, you must learn to newly trust Him and He will direct your path one step at a time. Permit yourself the emotions that come with this transition. People can embrace you, walk beside you but only the Lord can heal you. And, He is. Your husband will always hold that part of your life you shared with him. Where there is love, there is always room for more love. Know that there are those of us who are faithful friends, though you may never meet us. When you come to mind, we will send you prayers for love and comfort. Some of us will be with you, in spirit, for as long as the Holy Spirit lead us to do so. I trust that you will know comfort in ways unknown to you before but felt by you nonetheless. We are sisters in the Lord. Time and distance does not separate us. Be of good cheer sweet sister, you are never alone.