Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Taking Time for a Visit

Come join me for a cup of tea and a visit. I know it's been a while since I've posted. There hasn't been a spare moment to think about posting or visiting your blogs. These past few weeks have sped by quickly and slowly at the same time. I so appreciate all the phone calls, cards and emails. You girls are just the greatest.
Some of you are aware that in August of last year my husband was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. For the most part he was doing fine until the first of the year. These past few weeks we've had continual runs to the hospital, doctors, more hospital runs for tests, more doctors for tests. Well, you get the idea. By the time we get home we were both just worn out, mentally and physically. We've been hit with 2 other diagnosis that we're still struggling to get our heads around. One of those is Parkinson's. The symptoms were slight in the beginning. Last visit showed a remarkable change, so those medications have already been increased. The other one is Alzheimer's. We're scheduled for 3 more tests and we'll see where those take us. Both of these were not really surprises to me. I've noticed several things over the past couple of years that led me to believe we might be looking at something like this. But, until you have it hit you in the face and a doctor gives you the diagnosis I guess you more or less try to ignore it. Now, for those that don't know my husband is 20 years older than I am so this is especially hard for me. It's a very lonely place to be. We seem to except something like this when we're in our Senior years, and I am a ways from that. He should be enjoying his retirement and doesn't. It is incredibly hard to watch a man you've been married to for over 30 years slowly disappear in front of you. But this storm we will weather together. They have him on medication for the Alzheimer's and I believe there is a significant change in his memory. But you can see his zeal for life isn't what it once was. I miss the days of him laughing and cutting up, just enjoying life in general. He's a much more mellow person these days and worries constantly about his faithful companion Miss Scooter. She is always by his side and seems to keep him grounded. Our grandson Bailey spends as much time with us as he possibly can. He has some concept of what's going on and that frightens my daughter and I. So, on Papa's good days Bailey and I head down to the lake to have some special one on one time for just the two of us. I'll share more of that time soon. My little guy will soon be 9. It just doesn't seem fair he has to witness such stuff in his young life. He handles it well for his age. With each question that he's repeatedly asked he answers his Papa with such sweetness and kindness.

Life for us right now is pretty solitary. Constantly worrying and at his every call has brought things to a stand still around here for me. I've had to regroup and do things a lot differently. The first thing that has changed is the closing of the tax office. I've had to let most my clients go. That was such a difficult thing to do. Many I've done for over 20 years. But each day brings changes and it's hard to say what changes we'll be facing in January. So far I still have the shop open. Thankfully it's in the basement and I can hear every move he makes or his voice calling out. Now that summer is here, there is a lot of mowing and up keep to do around here. So far, he's able to still ride the mower and helps out. He wears down fairly quickly and doesn't usually finish the whole yard, but at least he's still able to try. Something as small as watching him cut the grass brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. With each good day we treat it has a treasure and cherish the moments.

Okay, I've gone on far long enough. Wanted to bring you up to speed on what's been going on around here. I hope each day you face brings you joy and happiness. Thanks for swinging in and reading the small book.... many, many hugs ~lynne~