Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Taking Time for a Visit





Come join me for a cup of tea and a visit. I know it's been a while since I've posted. There hasn't been a spare moment to think about posting or visiting your blogs. These past few weeks have sped by quickly and slowly at the same time. I so appreciate all the phone calls, cards and emails. You girls are just the greatest.
Some of you are aware that in August of last year my husband was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. For the most part he was doing fine until the first of the year. These past few weeks we've had continual runs to the hospital, doctors, more hospital runs for tests, more doctors for tests. Well, you get the idea. By the time we get home we were both just worn out, mentally and physically. We've been hit with 2 other diagnosis that we're still struggling to get our heads around. One of those is Parkinson's. The symptoms were slight in the beginning. Last visit showed a remarkable change, so those medications have already been increased. The other one is Alzheimer's. We're scheduled for 3 more tests and we'll see where those take us. Both of these were not really surprises to me. I've noticed several things over the past couple of years that led me to believe we might be looking at something like this. But, until you have it hit you in the face and a doctor gives you the diagnosis I guess you more or less try to ignore it. Now, for those that don't know my husband is 20 years older than I am so this is especially hard for me. It's a very lonely place to be. We seem to except something like this when we're in our Senior years, and I am a ways from that. He should be enjoying his retirement and doesn't. It is incredibly hard to watch a man you've been married to for over 30 years slowly disappear in front of you. But this storm we will weather together. They have him on medication for the Alzheimer's and I believe there is a significant change in his memory. But you can see his zeal for life isn't what it once was. I miss the days of him laughing and cutting up, just enjoying life in general. He's a much more mellow person these days and worries constantly about his faithful companion Miss Scooter. She is always by his side and seems to keep him grounded. Our grandson Bailey spends as much time with us as he possibly can. He has some concept of what's going on and that frightens my daughter and I. So, on Papa's good days Bailey and I head down to the lake to have some special one on one time for just the two of us. I'll share more of that time soon. My little guy will soon be 9. It just doesn't seem fair he has to witness such stuff in his young life. He handles it well for his age. With each question that he's repeatedly asked he answers his Papa with such sweetness and kindness.

Life for us right now is pretty solitary. Constantly worrying and at his every call has brought things to a stand still around here for me. I've had to regroup and do things a lot differently. The first thing that has changed is the closing of the tax office. I've had to let most my clients go. That was such a difficult thing to do. Many I've done for over 20 years. But each day brings changes and it's hard to say what changes we'll be facing in January. So far I still have the shop open. Thankfully it's in the basement and I can hear every move he makes or his voice calling out. Now that summer is here, there is a lot of mowing and up keep to do around here. So far, he's able to still ride the mower and helps out. He wears down fairly quickly and doesn't usually finish the whole yard, but at least he's still able to try. Something as small as watching him cut the grass brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. With each good day we treat it has a treasure and cherish the moments.

Okay, I've gone on far long enough. Wanted to bring you up to speed on what's been going on around here. I hope each day you face brings you joy and happiness. Thanks for swinging in and reading the small book.... many, many hugs ~lynne~

31 comments:

Blondie's Journal said...

Lynne,

I was having a little insomnia and decided to catch up and came upon your post. I have been wondering exactly what has been going on with you and your dear husband and you have answered a lot of my questions. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have such difficult times ahead and I can truly sense the weariness in your voice.

I will tell you with a very sincere heart that I will keep you and your husband in my prayers constantly. If I could physically be there with you, I would. I can really feel how desolate your world has become and my heart aches.

I think you are very brave and I want you to know that if it feels good for you to talk about things on your blog, there is a wonderful group of ladies out here that want to listen. I am just one of them.

Take care my friend. Here's a hug from me to you...

xoxo
Jane

mbkatc230 said...

Lynne, I was so glad to see a post from you today. I'm so sorry for all that you are going through right now. It is so difficult to watch someone you love struggle with all of these health issues. I know that you will face this with grace and strength. I will keep you and your dear husband in my prayers. Hugs, Kathy

Tomarie said...

Lynne,

I am so glad and Relieved to hear from you. I know it's not easy opening up but I'm so glad you did because we all love and care about you. Friends arent' just friends through the happy times...they're friends through the hard times too. And we're all here to support, love and prayer for you, as I know you have been there for so many others!
You and your husband have a beautiful marriage...and what a blessing your Bailey and Miss Scooter are!
I can only imagine how hard it was to let your tax business go, but I'm glad you're "lightening your load" because we can only handle so much.

I'm feeling such a relief to hear from you!!!! Just know that we all LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!! Laura

Shelia said...

OH, Dear Lynne! It's so wonderful to hear from you! I had asked Gloria last night if she'd heard anything about you! I knew you had your plate full! I'm so sorry to hear all of this about your dear husband. One blessing is you're young enough to really be there for him! I'm glad the meds are helping. Lynne, please know you, your husband and your dear family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love ya, Dear One,
Shelia :)

ann said...

oh Lynne.I was so glad to find out you posted.Laura let me know.And your post looked so happy.
I am so very sorry,but at the same time releved.We all were so worried after not hearing from you for so long.
I am so sorry you and your hubby and have to go though this.I am grasping for the right thing to say.their just are no perfect words.Just know our thoughts and prayers are with you and you family...ann

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Lynne, I can't tell you how badly I've wanted to hear from you. I have been so worried. This beautifully written post answers all of my questions. I have had ya'll in my prayers and will keep you in my prayers. Your love for your husband and the challenges the two of you are facing just breaks my heart. He may not realize it, but he is so blessed that you are there, still loving him, still taking care of him. I'm sure that Bailey and Scooter are blessings to both of you. Thank you so much for posting this, and remember there are a lot of ladies here who love you, and God is hearing a lot of prayers on your behalf. Love ya, laurie

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

So sorry to hear about your dear husband. Please know that your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I have found my sweet blogger friends to be so thoughtful and uplifting in hard times. We are all here for each other, even though we have not physically met each other in person. I know it has been hard giving up your business, but it is important to spend this time with your husband and family. Love & blessings from NC!

Helen said...

Dear Lynne .... this was a difficult post to read and for you to write, I'm certain. My step father was 25 years older than my mother. He passed away at age 97 after spending close to 40 years with her. Take this one day at a time, dear Lynne, minute by minute. Take all of the good from each day and go to sleep each night reliving it. Your husband has a treasure in you and I am quite certain he knows that .... he is going to need a lot of positive energy from family and friends now.
My grandchildren were amazing with my mother. They were 7 and 10 when she came to live with me. Dealing with her Alzheimer's was an experience that opened their hearts and minds, made them more tolerant and loving.
I will be thinking of you.

Glenda/MidSouth said...

I was so glad to see that you had posted. When my list of feeds update, I always checked to see if you had posted, and when so much time went by, I was very concerned. I'm so sorry you and your hubby are going thru some very difficult times. Thanks for letting us know how things are going. (((hugs)))
Love your new header.
Glenda

xinex said...

Oh Lynne, sad as the news is, I am so relieved to see you. I have been so worried, had emailed you a couple of times and got even more worried not getting responses. I am so sorry you have to face all this but I know you are strong and you will manage. I know exactly how you feel cause I am going through with it with my mom and then it just becomes a way of life. You will get adjusted. I have been praying for you and your family and will continue to do so. Take care, my friend! Love you!...Christine

Dolores said...

Oh Lynne,
I'm so sorry to read that you and your husband are going through this challenge and heartbreak!!
Helen's advice to you is so right. One day at a time is the only way to survive.
Talking and sharing can really help to lighten the load a bit. I hope you will continue to share your feelings with all your friends.
My thoughts and prayers are with you for strength and good days!!!

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

Hello Lynne
I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am you and your husband and family are going through this. My Granny had Alzheimer's and my Aunt is suffering with it now. Aunt Helen will be 88 in August. She was diagnosed in her 70's, the same as Granny. I was around 20 or so, when Granny began showing symptoms. My youngest cousin was 12. I remember how sad it was, for our family. I can't imagine how your grandson must feel.

Wishing you the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

9405018--Pat said...

Lynne, I've been so worried about you. I am so sorry to hear about your dear Bill. Thanks for letting us know how things are going. I'm so sorry my thoughys and prayers are with you. Take care, my friend...Pat H

Melissa Miller said...

Hi Lynne,
So many times these past few months I started to email you and thought the better of it. I knew you would let us know when the time came.

I'm so sorry to hear this health news of your husband. Oh Lynne my heart truly aches for you both. I know you are hurting so much.
If I can help in any way please let me know.
I'm here for you in prayer
at the very least.

Thanks for letting us know. You are a very brave and strong person.

Take Care, ~Melissa

salmagundi said...

I've thought about you so many times knowing that life was not how you wished it to be at the moment. Thanks for stopping in to update us. My prayers are with you and yours. Don't forget to take a little time for yourself. Sally

Barb said...

Lynn,
You've been missed.
I'm so sorry for the way things are going for you. I cannot even imagine what that is like for you both, and your family.
Not any words to say, except I'll be praying, for strength and grace and peace through this time.

Big Hugs.
Blessings,
Barbara Jean

Cindy J. said...

Oh Lynne... I am so sorry. I knew things were complicated and that you needed some "tucking in" time...So many prayers have been sent your way.. Dear girl please do take care of yourself, know that you have touched so many with your kindness and sweet spirit. Thank-you for checking in. Love, Cindy

Beth at Aunties said...

Lynne,

I am so sorry with all you and Bill are going through and can't imagine all you have to handle right now. i know it is huge!
My precious mother in law passed away at age 82, two years ago on May 17th of Alzheimer's. She was diagonosed when when she was in her mid sixties. My FIL took care of her up to the last two weeks of her life. It was quite a love affair! Some grandkids said she never showed them that she even knew who they were, let alone their name... I am glad Bill recognize's his family and kids most of all are pretty resilent and helpful. Mom gave all of us the opportunity to serve, including her 16 grandchildren who were so inspirational as they tenderly loved her with out receiving that love back...
My prayers are with you, your husband and family. Like Sally said, Remember to take time for YOUSELF!
The care taker needs to be taken care too, especially doing the things you love!

With much love, Beth~♥

The Muse said...

You are so bathed in prayer, as is your husband and family....

We have all missed you and yet, each one of us knows that LIFE takes precedence.

May you continue to be strong and faith filled, my friend.

Linda said...

Lynne, I've missed your post and wondered how you are. I am so sorry that you and your husband are facing such incredibly difficult challenges now. May you be comforted in some small way knowing that many people will be praying for you both. Linda

ksarra said...

Lynne, we've missed you so! Hope things will settle down some, and you get a chance to spend some time with your friends in blogland. This blog thing is so much more than tablescapes or decorating, isn't it? It's about real people, with real lives, and a group of friends who care. I'll keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

prof en retraite said...

Oh Lynne...I am both so relieved and happy to see you again and, at the same time, so sad to hear your news! I cannot imagine what you must be going through and it hurts me to hear that you feel so alone. I know that we are just cyber friends and can't be there to give you real hugs and offer you a real shoulder to cry on, but please know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers! You know my grandson is the same age as Billey so I will be praying special prayers for him. I'm so sorry, my friend. Life is never easy, is it? I hope it helps in some small way to know that I am thinking of you! Hugs to you, my dear friend. I wish they were real ones!
(((((Lynne)))))
Love you....Debbie

carolinajewel said...

Lynne, Saying a prayer for your and your husband. My mother-in-law passed away last year after Alzheimer's. I know how lonely it can be. Love and Hugs, Jewel

Cindy said...

Hi Lynne,
I just found this post and I wanted to come by and say how much I have thought about you. You have had a very tough road to walk and I can imagine how much this consumes your whole life. My Mom has Parkinson's, she is 73. I help her as much as possible and she is still pretty independant. She is just slower and more tired. My thoughts and prayers will be with you, Hugs, Cindy @ Applestone Cottage.

Barb @ GritsandGlamour said...

Dearest Lynn,
I am so sorry I missed this post. I have been so busy lately, that I just don't seem to visit Blogland like I should. I knew you and your husband were going through a hard time, I just did not realize it had gotten so hard on you. I am so sorry, dear friend. My husband is also 15 yrs older than me, and I know we will one day face some of these situations. But, I pray you find strength and courage from the Good Lord, and I hope you know you are missed tremendoulsy. I will say a special prayer for you tonight.

Blessings and Hugs, Barb

onlymehere said...

Lynne:

I'm so glad to see you update us. I'm so sorry for the stress and trials you and your hubby are going through right now. I'll keep you in my prayers. I hadn't seen this post until today bz we're busy crazy around here. My son is getting married two weeks from today and there is much to do. Also we've had other challenges so I haven't been around as much. God bless you for your sweet heart and tender love for your husband. My father lived with us for a time and he had Alzheimer's and my father-in-law has Parkinson's so to some degree I can understand what you're going through but obviously not completely. Take care sweet friend.

Susan @ A Southern Daydreamer said...

Lynne
I am so sorry to hear all that you are going through right now. I have had my hands full with my in-laws health issues...so I understand. It is often more tiring for the caregivers than the patient! Know that we are here... if you ever need anything... even if it is to have someone listen... we live you, my friend!

Susan

Diane @ Four Paws and Co said...

Lynne, I was so happy to see your post. I've worried about you & hubby. Please know that you & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. Hugs! Diane

janet said...

Dear Lynne
I feel so badly that i missed this post, things have been crazy busy around here so when i do enter blogland, i do a quick check and off i go again. Oh my, my heart goes out to you and your husband, you have been through so much. You sound so strong through this difficult time, but dont forget to take time to take care of you too. Many many prayers and hugs sent your way.
hugs
janet

Lady Katherine said...

Oh, Lynne I have been so worried about you and your husband. I knew had to going through a lot to not post. I am so sorry you are going through so much. It warmed my heart when you said just to watch your dear husband on the mower. You have so many wonderful friends here in blogland. Please let us be there for you. Should you need to just talk, I will give my number. I would love hear you talk about your life changes. You sound like you are handling it all. Life brings us unexpected changes, we learn to deal with, not that we want to. I know your heart is so loving and warm. I have prayed for you daily and so glad you let us know what you are going through. I am so glad your husband medicine is helping. You take care and know I am here for you. Blessing to you and family, I will keep you still in my prayers.

Mama said...

Hello Lynne, so nice to see you posting again, I have missed your beautiful posts. I am sorry to hear your hubby is going through this very tough time, it must be really hard for you and the family too, I am sending you big hugs my friend, I can see you have a very special group of friends here in blog-land, it can be a wonderful place to be. Kathy.